A light when all other lights go out!

I want to tell a story. Last night, I fell in love with the same person again. :) Here's the story. Last year, sometime September or so, Miley's Party in the USA came out. And I searched youtube to listen to co-jammers and jam along with them. And that's when I stumbled on the BEST cover version of the song EVER. It appeared to be a simple video. They were just two guys rocking it out by themselves in your typical studio-type pad - just two average, ordinary guys of my age or somewhere around my age. Nothing special there. Except that they made pretty decent music. And with a little curiosity and just a bit of guessing, I found hints that these guys were particularly talented musicians. I scouted them a bit more, and I hit jackpot! It was love! Where it all started - I gotta stand and clap. That was great! Thank you for sharing! :) So, like I said, I clicked a bit more and I found the guy Kurt with this piano medley of Miley songs where he gave the songs a kind of differ...

because when you're being mean, you wound me so much, it's truly destructive. and so, to de-fang those words somewhat, i'll have this blaring in my ears and when i'm finally reduced to nothing... You, with your WORDS like KNIVES and SWORDS and WEAPONS that you use against me You, HAVE KNOCKED ME OFF MY FEET AGAIN got me feeling LIKE A NOTHING You, with your VOICE like NAILS on a chalkboard CALLING ME OUT WHEN I'M WOUNDED You, PICKING ON THE WEAKER MAN WELL YOU CAN TAKE ME DOWN WITH JUST ONE SINGLE BLOW but you don't know what you don't know Chorus Someday, I’ll be living in a big old city, And all you’re ever gonna be is MEAN. Someday, I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me, And all you’re ever gonna be is MEAN. Why you gotta be so mean? You, with your switching sides, And your wildfire lies and your HUMILIATION You, HAVE POINTED OUT MY FLAWS AGAIN, AS IF I DON'T ALREADY SEE THEM I WALK WITH MY HEAD DOWN Trying to block you out cause I’ll never impress y...

Hey. I'm sorry but for today, can i not write as well as i usually try? may i just ramble? as i write, my nephew is also using his laptop beside me and he just by himself, took himself to the youtube site. he set aside the game on his mother's iPad, it was spiderman. and when he set it aside,he came over to me to sit in front of his own laptop placed beside mine. sorry bangag pa ako ha. kunwari jet lag. so he stopped the iPad, and went to his laptop. and i said, "oh, tapos ka na dun? laptop na naman?" he went to the internet page and to my surprise, after a few inputs on the keyboard, he got himself to youtube. "Magyou-youtube ka?!" i asked. "nood ako power rangers," he explained. piskot ning bata-a. tell me, have you ever seen a five-year-old answer his own phone, a call from his mother? it was so cute. and surprising. my nephew frequently takes me aback. he was reasoning to his mom why he shouldn't take an afternoon nap and why sleeping ea...

full steam ahead.

Cory's YM status message: 'so I start a fight 'coz I need to feel something; and you do what you want 'coz I'm not what you wanted...' (Taylor Swift lyrics) Lala: so whats up with fighting words/angsty lyrics? Lala: i was so hungry kanina sa choir practice na i had to feign an excuse to go out and eat my pizza sa lobby while hiding Cory: what, you have time to chat???? Lala: actually im just trying to make up for my recent snubs Cory: hmph...you're still busy...when are you and allison celebrating his birthday??? Lala: pero i actually have to go na rin Cory: i know.... Cory: love you, lala...see you soon!! Cory: me too, alis na rin ako.... Lala: love you too dear! Cory: i'm just joking about loving you (evil emoticon) Cory: ahehehehe Lala: and since same wavelength tayo, you have to know that i was as well Lala: what, you took me seriously?? (evil emoticon) Hahahahaha.... Lala: anyway Lala: bye coooooooooooooooooooor!!! Lala: see you soonest, like next ...

Clyde turned 26 today. But there was no one at bellecroft; most of the people having taken advantage of the long weekend to go out of town. I confess to having forgotten her birthday, but I acquit myself of the crime since a little bird had told me to bring Clyde a sweet and she had had it and eaten it. Moreover, I had dinner with her. We ordered a meal from Flaming Wings. I had my usual – tenders meal, Mild ‘N Sweet, with honey mustard. She had the same, except the part of the flavor being Carribean Jerk and the dip sweet ‘n sour. I told her 26 was a good age. I like 26. I think it’s sweet. I mean, can you imagine? Say it with me: “I’m 26.” Doesn’t it sound nice? I like 26. I told her to document every freaking day of the next 365 days of her life. She just might be going places at that age, I said. She just might be having that um, friendship with him at that age, yihee! So we talked while we ate and she announced that she wanted to post as her status message on facebook...

Lala's YM status message - invisible to cor... ahh....hehehehehe..... wala lang...she's so mean...i got two minutes na lang before i have to get going to that something i have to do....

So I was talking about The Three Musketeers… Favorite line: Of course – “All for one and one for all!” – Classic. Favorite character: Athos. He was the only one in the story who had moral presence. Haha, those who know me might probably not be taken by surprise by my choice of character and the explanation behind it. But c’mon…don’t you like Athos? Favorite action sequence: Well, it wasn’t actually an action sequence but overall, I liked the part about how d’Artagnan met the three musketeers. Favorite sub-plot: The one of Athos and Milady. Most Hated Character: Felton. I’d prefer Milady to him. Moral of the Story: There’s no moral. I don’t know if the book intended to moralize, hehe. The book was about intrigue and I think it intended to thrill, and I have to say, I did get thrilled while in the thick of it. Love? What love? There’s no love in the story except that maybe of Athos’ for Milady once before. :p What important thing did I take from the story? N/A. Hehe. Will be lookin...

So, how was last week? • Hey, I had fun last week. But please take note, it takes very little to get me to have fun. I’m just too simple like that. • Last Sunday, November 21, Lala, Allison, and I met up at Trinoma, and we dined at Jack’s Loft. The food was delicious. I had spaghetti and I am dying to have it again. Oh Lord, please grant me a delicious plate of spaghetti again. It’s all it takes to make me smile. I enjoyed Lala and Allison’s company of course. But aside from the original glazed doughnut I had from Krispy Kremes and the comforting signature hot chocolate I drank from Starbucks, the highlight of the evening for me was…the moon. It was round and white that night. And it had a rainbow-colored halo surrounding it. Allison and Lala could have just left me at Jack’s Loft staring at the moon all night. It was beautiful. (Before Lala can make a cheeky remark on this comment of mine, let me just put on the record that the pair had ditched me for a moment to watch the...

I wanted to record this because it made me laugh. It’s a story about punctuations…because she’s sarcastic about them. Lala: cor? I was @ a bday dinner last nyt&couldn’t hear u over the din of conversaxn&the live band.allison&i’re wondering if u cud join us 4 hp7 l8r 2day? Cory: Hi lala! it’s ok…can’t… :) not that much of an hp fan…anyway…have fun??? :) hope the party was a blast….. :) :) :) Lala: u arent?really???u cant???? multiple punctuaxns are fun!!!! (something about having fun at the party…) Cory: Not really all that excited 4 hp7 lala…I’m glad that you had fun…wat tym kyo punta pra nood?? :) :) wat time will it b over??? :) :) Lala: after church and lunch, cguro mga 3 pa kmi mkkabili ng ticket…(some texts omitted)…meet up later n lng s mall once I txt our plans? Cory: Yep…..u myt b on ur way to church na…:) cge,cge…..i myt find my way to starbs 2day or tb’s! :) :) :) tc! Hab a lably day,lala!hi 2 allison….. Lala: wokey!hi to whoever it is that’s making your punctuati...

I arrived in bellecroft and flinging my bag on one part of the sofa, I sank into its soft cushions, as in my mind I wrestled with myself. A part of me was nagging, telling me that there was something I needed to say to Don. A part of me was not keen on taking that plunge. He’s not used to me yet, I appealed to myself. He’ll be discomfited, taken by surprise, or something like that…I don’t know if people are used to such things. But habit was a strong thing. When I had felt a need to communicate a special message, I had never hesitated overmuch before. So I got out my phone, worded it, and with a nervous gulp or two, sent him the message. It was this: Don, good eve. you know, my closest friends know something about me. it's that i have a tendency to text in the middle of the night or out of the blue just to tell them one thing: thank you. now i'm going to do the same for you. i'd like to thank you for everything. i've learned so much from you...like, for example, how t...

It was half past six and I was walking along an orange-lighted street in campus. I took out my phone as I had remembered that Don had called earlier that day and I had told him that I would get back to him as something had occupied me at the moment. Thinking it was about an assignment, I texted as I ambled along: Don, I’m sorry but I don’t have anything done yet with regard to our assignment in Legal Bib. I also don’t have with me the details of the assignment; I was hoping to get those from our classmates. Maybe our other classmates are done with it already…maybe you can ask them? He replied, “Wala lang…nangungumusta lang…” I stared at my phone for a second then rolled my eyes. “What, you’re bored? Aliwin mo nalang sarili mo with Bernas.” “Tapos na. Inaaliw ko na sarili ko with Tolentino.” We texted for a little while. I liked it when he would call, and I’d miss it, and wondering what business occasioned it, I would ask and receive the simple reply: Wala lang, nangungumusta lang. S...

Don called so that we could test whether our landline was really working already after having been busted for a few days. “Oh, it’s working!” he said, as he had rang and I picked up. It was already 11 in the evening, and I had been studying and was glad too, like him, for a break. He told me that he had just finished reading Estrada v. Escritor and I asked him to narrate to me the case. He told me about how this one party had discovered that the other, who was working as a clerk in the judiciary, was having an affair and thought it conduct unbecoming of a person working in the judicial department of the government of the Philippines. (Okay, now, please don’t quote me on this. See the case for yourself. My recollection is four years rusty and dusty.) “What?” I reacted to this piece of information. “MYOB.” “Exactly,” he agreed. (At this point, I would like to make another disclaimer and that is that I had merely been asking him about the case and had not read the principle as yet on ...

This is the part that hurts. I heard from a friend recently. And she revealed that after a long time, quite post-facto, Don had unexpectedly opened up to her his own version of how events with me had taken place. I paused. He did? Yes..can you believe it, she said. After all this time… Well, to tell you the truth, I didn’t want to hear then, and I still don’t want to hear now most parts of what I imagine he would have said about me. I would actually dread to hear it, and I’m pretty sure he’s probably justified in what he had to say. My friend asked me if I had spoken already with him. No, I replied. Why, was some kind of conversation supposed to have already taken place? She told me that she had told him to talk to me. And she said that she thinks, based on my account, that he should have apologized and that he’s taking too long a time to go about doing it. She mentioned that he had told her that he was giving me “space and time to recover”. That part gave me a start and got me ...

I replaced the receiver back on the phone. I had just been talking to Don about an assigned case, Lambino v. Comelec , and I had given him background on the national political context that surrounded that particular trial. Kitin, then a sophomore in Ateneo, looked up from her position on the living room floor. “Uy…who was that?” she asked. “Nobody,” I answered quietly. ABC, who was also a freshman like me in UP Law, was sitting in front of her PC and she overheard. “Uy…,” she said in turn, as she joined in the conversation. “When a person says ‘nobody,’ it’s usually a ‘somebody.’” I rolled my eyes. We then moved to the dinner table and prepared ourselves for dinner. Clyde had joined us by then. Kitin and ABC pursued the conversation. “So, who was that?” they asked. “Just a friend from law school,” I replied, shrugging. “We were talking about an assignment, that’s all.” “He’s testing the waters,” ABC pronounced. “What? No…” I uttered in genuine surprise. “He was asking about an assig...

Someday, I might be forgetting these things, but for now… We had a class for persons and family relations and I was hurrying to get to it. It was a little past 8 in the morning already and I was running late. I pushed open the heavy wooden door and slipped inside the room, noticing that most of my classmates had already arrived and were seated. I made my way to my seat near the back of the room with haste, saying hi to friends along the way. As I did so, I noticed Don turning in his chair to look at me but I didn’t acknowledge him until I managed to sink into my chair situated at an angle behind his. Still looking at me, he said to me, simply, “Good morning.” I responded to his greeting with a smile. He turned back in his chair and I suppressed whatever I made of that moment and preoccupied myself with preparing for our tension-saturated class. When class was finally over, and the tension in my shoulders had relaxed and dissipated some, I allowed myself to think of that moment, an...

And the story begins when Juliet meets Romeo...or so it seemed. (Hahaha) It was the first day of UP Law, first semester, '07 - '08. We were at a room designated for Persons and Family Relations under Prof. Aguiling-Pangalangan. If I'm not mistaken, that must have been one June 11. There was a long table and there were four seats. I was on the second seat from the right and I was chatting with my new friend, Thea. Thea and I shared so many things, more or less pareho kami ng academic background in terms of performance, pati undergrad, same feelings about expectations on making it to UP Law...I spent a good hour just chatting with her. After a long time, I turned to the classmate who was a seat away. Smiling, I introduced myself. "Hi classmate! My name is Cory. May I know your name?" "Don," he said, smiling back. "Ah!" I said. "You're Don Romantico." (First day of class we had an activity where we write our impressions of the other ...

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon, quiet and peaceful, like you were in the province. I was at bellecroft, having come over to offer assistance to Cherry Anne in checking her papers. It was nearly four, and the sky was dark and gloomy – it was going to rain. Cherry Anne left the house for some things to do. Clyde and I were left to ourselves. I stood in front of the mirror near the entrance hallway of the living room, running a comb through my hair, to all appearances okay though deep inside I felt terrible. “Clyde?” I asked. She was on the couch. “Can I ask you a question?” “Sure,” she responded. With casual curiosity, I asked, “Is it okay to think angry thoughts?” “Sure…in prayer…” she answered mildly. “Really?” I asked earnestly. “Yeah,” she replied dismissively. “Like, ‘Lord, mamamatay sana siya…” I laughed. I wasn’t quite that violent. “Really? Like, ‘Lord, mamamatay sana lahat ng lalaki sa buong mundo…?’” We laughed, neither of us meaning what we were saying. “Is this about a gu...

Commencing project: letting Don go. I guess I'm going to have to experience the emotions one more time before I put them away. The sooner I get this over and done with, the sooner I'll get better on this one aspect and on the whole too, most probably. :) I suppose that this isn’t going to be my writing best…I think this is going to come out in stops and starts, maybe like stop-motion animation or worse. But I guess what just matters most is that I am able, to the best of my ability, to articulate my heart, and I guess there is therapeutic release in that.

I invite comments. Taken from the site of 'Dried Up' on vimeo: It is a thesis project for Jeremy Casper and Isaiah Powers BFA in animation. “Dried Up” is the story of a quiet old man who, surrounded by desolation and apathy, perseveres to remain true to the nature of his own beliefs and character. He toils daily to forge a last ditch effort to bring hope and life to a faithless, drought ridden old town. References: Diola, M., 2010. Hope and Ordinary Work in 6 minutes. All Amateur Advice on an Array of Angles, [blog] 26 October, Available at http://www.allamateuradvice.com/ [Accessed 29 October 2010]. Vimeo, 2010. Dried Up . [online] Available at http://vimeo.com/5086128 [Accessed 29 October 2010]. Wayner, P., 2010. Animation in Starts and Stops, Simplified. The New York Times, [online] 20 October. Available at http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/21/technology/personaltech/21basics.html?_r=1&ref=global-home [Accessed 29 October 2010].

It’s alright to say good things to someone thinking that you might never see them again or pass that way again but it’s NOT alright saying the wrong things to someone thinking that you’ll never see them again anyway and what does it matter?! Hehe. I never want to do the latter again. For some reason, it just seems to backfire on me. :p

Nanghihinayang lang kc ako sa ‘yo, Cor. Lala told me. She wasn’t alone. When another of my bestfriends, Ghia, went home to Ozamiz, I felt that people were going to ask her about me, and I told her not to say anything. Sure enough, they did ask. Marliz asked what I was now doing. Ghia answered that I didn’t have a job yet. “What? It doesn’t sound like Cory to be like that. Sayang naman,” she lamented. “Hindi napapakinabangan ang utak.” It was one dewy Thursday morning when I was at work, and my contract was ending that very week, that I was talking to Jay, the 36-year-old Korean featured in my ‘a favorite day at work’ article. I asked him how his day was and he told me about how his pregnant wife was at the hospital because of a certain pregnancy complication wherein the lower part of her abdomen was hardening when it wasn’t supposed to as yet in the stage she was in. (This was her first pregnancy, and she was Jay’s age.) No one was cooking for him, and he had eaten just a bana...

He doesn’t know it, but he’s already made me cry thrice this year. I was astonished that a complete stranger would extend such a disinterested hand of kindness towards someone he didn’t know. It started one summer night (Philippine season). Most nights I was lonely, and I was battling out an inner turmoil. And I liked to scour the internet, looking for some free reading, for reading was a comfort. Not only did reading bring about an understanding of others and one’s self, but as Harold Bloom put it, reading was otherness , and this brings tremendous comfort to a person in solitude. The first ray of sunshine that he gratuitously gave me was this post of his titled Age 24. I really meant it when I somehow managed to convey (or I hope I did) that he brightened up my night. The second surprise came when I dumped my grumpy loneliness into my blog sometime June or July of this year. I was not actually expecting anyone to be reading what I wrote but when I opened my blog days later, ...

This meant a lot to me: Martin Lazatin said… >:( October 17, 2010 5:04 PM ngiti said… cor, i have a yellow balloon to cheer you up! it has this smiley face on it and the words happy birthday l---- errr. (sheepish) haha, wala pala, lumipad na ang lobo!:D seriously cor, ikaw ba yung nag-tagalog? seriously pa rin, tara, sa sunday ha! time to expel those deeper emotions! October 22, 2010 2:00 AM Guys, this was really unexpected. Yes, really. I don’t write thinking that it will be read. I write better thinking it won’t be read. But thank you. However, when I wrote this blogpost, I wrote it meaning to delete it later on. I just needed the personal space my blog offered. I was in bellecroft at this time, and it was a Sunday afternoon. I was reading something in Clyde’s laptop and the situation I wrote about had been bothering me for several days already. In lieu of opening the MS Word on Clyde’s laptop, I decided to open the internet and write quickly on my own blog. The subject is...

I want to make a change in my life. Don’t get excited, it’s on nothing big. Just an itty bitty teeny weeny tiny change actually. I want to arise on the dot in the morning when my alarm rings. I am a haggler when it comes to getting up. I haggle with the good Lord for a little more shut-eye, just a few more minutes, or I bargain it out of myself. And I’m proud to say I win almost every negotiation every time. I’m writing about this now because for the first time, I realized a heretofore uncovered dimension for this unsavory practice of mine. I realized that it felt important for me that there would have been someone who cared about waking me up and whom I could count on to be tough about it when I am weak. I realized that something so mundane may not really be as mundane after all. President Barack Obama once spoke of how he had a hole in his heart (the size of the state of Miami, joke lang!) for where his father ought to be. He spoke of it in sadness, acknowledging of the fact that a ...

What do you do during the weekend? Describe. I sit in my favorite corner at Starbucks, wearing my favorite blue Guess jeans, a black top with pink embroidered flowers and a gray cotton jacket covering my shoulders. On the circular tabletop in front of me lies a plate empty of its contents, save for a knife set across it, stained with hardened chocolate. To its right stands a tall size mocha frappucino in its transparent vessel, looking barely sipped as yet. A green straw is inserted through the opening on its cap. I take out a book or a reading, or a pen and notebook. Once in a while, I let my gaze slide among the occupants in the half-glass encased café and I spy two yuppies with nurse’s caps perched on top of their heads, snapping pictures of themselves with their digicam. I snap out of my reverie with the ringing of my phone and it’s Clyde. She wants to know if our Katipunan rendezvous is still on. I reply it is. I get up and gather my things but before I leave the mall, I make a fe...

Speaking of Time, I just wanted to write about this. I started scribbling on the margins and in between spaces in my Time Magazine. I would put in comments like for example: “Nam Yong [of LG Electronics]…is a CEO who believes in taking aggressive action and living with it. Once he decides that it makes sense to move down a path, he doesn’t look back.” (Schuman 2010, pp.42-43) And then I would scribble: (arrow) Don’t you just love it when people get gutsy and go all-out??!! Another example: “Nam says, ‘To show some profit [in a recession] is important, but not as important as long-term sustainable profit. This is a time to really come up with long-term competitiveness rather than short-term profits.”(Schuman 2010, p.43) And I underlined the whole quote and wrote, as though nodding vigorously: True of life as well!!!!! Hahahaha! ^_^ So one time, I texted Lala: Sweet, don’t buy a Time mag na. I have with me the issue about only children and I’ll hand it to you when next we meet. That time...

If there’s anything Time Magazine has taught me, it’s that I don’t value the things I don’t work hard for, or at least those things which cost me nothing – no effort, no pain, no part of myself. I started regularly purchasing a Time Magazine for my own mental and educational consumption when I entered the university and for as long as I remember, I seem to have been always perennially casting the magazine longing glances every time I would pass them by – in National Bookstore, Fullybooked, Seven Eleven, Rustan’s Supermarket in Katipunan…wherever. Last year, Lala and I thought to share a subscription for the magazine. (Hey, weren’t there some freebie involved? Did they deliver?) So for a year, the two of us received every issue of Time Magazine that we wished for. And was it heaven? Hell, no. We felt inundated. We could barely keep up with the reading. The subscription has expired already and we still haven’t gotten around to finishing our backlog of outdated Time magazines. For some re...

I lamented to my boardmates before: My Korean students don't laugh at my jokes. I pouted. "What jokes?" they asked. "Well," I explained. "My student and I were discussing an article about superstitions. And I asked him if he was superstitious. He said yes. And he said that he believes in dreams and that if one night he would have an awful dream, that he would absent himself from work the next day. And then I said to him: You know what, James, I'm superstitious too." "Really," he asked. "Yes," I affirmed. "I believe it is bad luck to believe in superstition." Silence. I waited for laughter. Nada. I smiled to myself. "I was just joking," I reassured him. "Anyway, going back to our discussion..." And another time, a student shared with me that he jumped rope for exercise 500 times a day and that he was presently aiming to raise the bar to a thousand jumps. "Wow!" I commended him. "That...

I was lolling at Starbucks earlier when I suddenly felt the impulse to heckle my bestfriend Lala. She was at work and since I didn't want to catch her while she was busy (and would therefore bite my head off) or in a bad mood (repeat aforementioned consequence), I decided to text her, to give some sort of heads up and to obtain a green light for a quick call. Cory to Lala: Psst! Are you busy? Was gonna make u a 1-minute call. 60 seconds lang naman. Tas I'll be yammering at a rate of 5 words per second lang naman. Pagbigyan mo sana...Hahaha!^_^ I didn't get a reply until about 7, with Lala apologizing about not checking her phone until early that eve and notifying me that she'd be home around 8:30. I was at bellecroft yet again. While there, I kept time with the clock and took note that it was too early for me to call. However, I left bellecroft at 8, and was not able to make the call. I stopped by SM North and bought one whole Red Ribbon chocolate mousse cake for the fo...

31 Nice Things About Him (That I Like) ^_^ 1. His eyes 2. His smile 3. The way he looks at me 4. his sense of responsibility 5. his boyishness 6. his lovableness 7. the way he drives his car 8. his love for classical music 9. his love for his sister 10. his patience with his parents 11. his love for philosophy 12. his background in Toronto 13. his childhood in Bulacan 14. his voice 15. his fondness for his nephew 16. his respect for women 17. his cooperativeness 18. his managerial capabilities 19. his thoughts 20. his intelligence 21. his love for fine restaurants 22. his conversation 23. his niceness 24. his clean habits 25. his industriousness 26. his kindness 27. his tech-savviness 28. his diligence 29. his ideas 30. his law studies 31. his age. =) * 'Cause I wrote this when he turned 31. Advance happy birthday. God bless sa law studies mo. I hope that you'll ace the bar and graduate well soon...though not necessarily in that order. :) ** It's not the same without his na...

One time, I remember, my bestfriend Lala and I were at SM North. She and her boyfriend were, at that time, celebrating their first ever "sort-of" anniversary. And she was sharing with me a poem that she had written for him. She wrote it down on my notebook since she didn't have a copy with her and anyway, she knew the poem by heart (haha, no surprise there!). After reading it, I asked her to explain to me what she meant with her metaphors and personifications and figures of speech. When she was done, I inquired of her deadpan, "How come our friendship doesn't inspire you to write poems?" I was joking. She rolled her eyes at me. So I was surprised when one January morning, the morning of my birthday, she presented me with a poem. My friend is a very good writer and she wrote this poem for me so I'd like to take this opportunity to re-publish it. Since it's for me, I assume that she is sharing with yours truly some of the intellectual property rights t...

more than 31 days later (posted January 31, 2009) It's exactly 30 minutes past the hour of 12. it's already february 1. in another blog, i will write about how january went for me. in here, i will write about how it went with regard to mark. it was without a doubt the longest january i ever had. the days were difficult and long. i have never yearned for someone's presence and have missed someone that much ever. more than 31 days after i sent him that email about walking away, i find that i have not walked away at all. i'm still in the same place as before, maybe even a few inches deeper into him. i've prayed for him almost every day. those days that i haven't were days when i was sunk in depression, i could barely move. this is how i realize that hope has become a necessity for me. not an option that i can exercise or not exercise depending on whether i want to or not. i am impressed with the need to, as sarah mclachlan (my new guidance counselor) put it, do wha...

One of my favorite days at work was the day of my last class with Jay. Our topic for the day had been about Tribute Bands. In case you haven't heard, Tribute Bands are bands formed with the express purpose of imitating the sound and style of certain notable musical groups as a sign of worship of those groups. (Imitation is the best kind of flattery.^_^) Anyway, so while we were in the middle of our topic discussion, I asked Jay if he sings and I tried to get him to sing a song. Being a very clever man, he turned the tables on me and suggested that I be the one to sing tunes sang by such imitated groups as ABBA and the Beatles. Knowing I couldn't hit the note in Dancing Queen , I laughingly resisted while insisting to Jay that he sing. Finally, I laid down the ultimatum on the table and said, "Well, if you're not singing, NO ONE is singing in this class." To my surprise, Jay started singing a simple ditty. It was a Korean song, and he explained to me its meaning ...

I'm in bellecroft again - the home of friends. I just love this place. And I love conversation. Just now, I was having a fun talk with Joan. She was sharing about this law school forum that she attended in Ateneo. And earlier, I was having a thoughtful exchange with Cherry Anne. We were talking about UP and I was telling her how much I appreciate these days the training I received from the university and how the inspiring people I met left imprints in my heart and mind that help me with my work and how I do it. And then there was Cres and Clyde also...The world turns into such a bright, cheerful and wonderful place to live in when its peopled by happy, cheerful, good-humored individuals. These are some of the times when I appreciate the magic of life. I miss this quaint old living room where I'm doing my typing right now. It's just small - it's furnished with a striped blue and white sofa set and simple low rectangular wooden tables. There's a ceiling fan overhead w...

These days, the moments of my life are happening chunk by chunk, specifically, 10 minutes by 10 minutes. That's because that's what's comprising my days right now: 22 10-minute classes with 22 Korean students. This is my current job. What's interesting about this is that my stories with them happen within the ten minutes I have with them. It isn't much, and maybe, most of the time, there isn't anything much, but sometimes, a moment arises within those ten minutes. A moment happens...like when your student laughs at your rendition of the Popeye jingle, like when your student feels your vaguely hurt silence after he commented about how men can't help but look at other women, and like when your student indicates that he would like to keep you as his teacher (at least that could be a sign that he is enjoying his English classes). It can make you smile sometimes...especially when you think about your role as a teacher. I think I can be sure there is real commun...

i think it's true what they say: The harder you work, the luckier you get. :)

I remember that Crystalina Padilla, chastity advocate, once said, "Never underestimate the power of a person's testimony." (or rather, the testimony of a person's character, example, or life, to paraphrase.) That's not the most articulate of statements, I must admit, but then again, I don't think she was that articulate when she made that comment anyway (hehe)...but context-wise, I understood what she meant. Crystalina was 15 when she lost her virginity and started sleeping with other people. She then spoke of how there was this one person in school who did not sleep around even when everyone around her were. Everybody ridiculed her for being a virgin but she would just shrug it off and ignore what they said. The girl's attitude was like, "You know what, I know I am a treasure and I don't care what you say." And though Crystalina and everyone else in school mocked her, deep inside, they admired her for her strength. Francis Kong says he use...

you know, blog, i don't blog like a true blogger. what i usually do with blogs is that they serve for me as the "ocean dumping ground" of my feelings, fleeting or otherwise and all other achuchus of life. here i am at it again...and it's because i haven't got anyone to talk to. for some reason, i am the kind of person who seems to be continually craving for conversation, companionship and home or something that feels like it. and when i am in manila, i feel the need to be constantly out. i have to be anywhere but where i am. i think that i will write later on my own in my own laptop. because right now, i have a pending important activity that i need to get to and i am just simply procrastinating, wondering what the rest of the world is doing. world, the rest of you, what are you doing? kwentuhan tayo...tell me about your life, tell me about how you are. tell me about things i don't know, tell me new things bout the things i already know. kwentuhan tayo...

I noticed this in Bellecroft more than in any other place. It's an all-girl place so it can get really fun and one of the things that are funny when girls get together is that we talk about different things while we are talking to each other. It's like how each one is immersed and keeps going on one's own conversational thread and not really reacting to the other. It's like we're just saying our own thoughts aloud so it's like we're having different conversational threads going on at the same time. I know, I know. It's a girl thing. Wala lang. Would miss that. Tonight, I was just lounging about, eating my Kenny's sandwich. Clyde was at her laptop and she was talking out loud also about her bid for Cambridge. Chaida was talking about the new skirt she bought from Espada. But "nothing" times like this are so much fun!!! I'll always miss this.

Because this is my last night in bellecroft probably... New dormers are coming in soon, among them will be a freshman for UP, a graduating student transfering here from Daniw, and maybe a law student. So I might not be able to make tambay here anymore like I used to. Sad but that's okay. Maybe Bellecroft part 2 might happen. So tonight Clyde and Maricel watched Meet the Robinsons. Clyde cried (of course, duh-uh). I think Maricel enjoyed it. We all crowded by, taking up the three-person sofa and its arms. Me, Chaida, and Cherry were repeaters. We three have watched it more than once. I enjoyed my night, as usual. Will have to move out the rest of my stuff by Monday. The events that constituted 2007 seems to be closing and moving on now. Well not all. You know, I think 2007 constituted a third "start" in my life. My first start would be Book 1 - "Life in Ozamiz." The second would be 2002 - "Undergrad UP." Third - "The 2007 Chapter."...

You know, sometimes I feel like though only simple events happen in my life, I somehow still have the time of my life! Maybe it's because I am easy to please, as Lala says of me: "easy to please but hard to impress." Ghia asked me when I arrived at her sister's place where she currently stays, "Did you have a restful trip, Cor? I thought you would find the route easier." By golly, I enjoyed my conveyance! I found my almost three-hour travel a generally positive experience and I rather liked it. The first good thing that happened was that when I got to Commonwealth Highway to take the bus to Taft, I was pleasantly greeted by newly painted green - a cool green - overpass, the one that allows people to cross from Tandang Sora to the Balara area. (Warning: This might not be a very technically correct factual blogpost.) I found it pleasing. I was smiling inside, thankful that they finally got rid of that awful (!) pink and blue combo. I had always found th...

For one human being to love another, this is the most difficult of all tasks. - Rainer Maria Rilke Love between man and woman cannot be built without sacrifices and self-denial. - Pope John Paul II Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question. - Albert Camus The heart cares so easily and I don't care meaninglessly. - Cory (once upon a time, to a textmate, hahaha!) (And no, it's not in my saved items, kapal naman ng mukha ko to go recording and quoting myself. I just remembered 'cause it's a funny line for its melodrama.)

Bellecroft mornings form some of my most favorite mornings in life. I spent the night there, and when I woke up in the morning, some of my dormmates were already up and about and ready to get on with their day. Clyde had her laptop open and when she wasn't using it anymore I stole some time using it...to listen to Taylor Swift songs. We love her in BC! And singing Hey Stephen on an ordinary morning in a pretty and cozy sala beside a sun-soaked patio makes for a pretty charming morning to me! I think it's nice to wake up to friends, music and conversation in the morning. I think it's nice to wake up to a Beautiful House (Bellecroft).

now i know why i just had to write it down. it was because that night was the first time that i intuited personally and emotionally the travails and more soberly, the private inner humiliations a woman as a wife and a lover and as a beloved , experiences and endures because of a spouse's money policies and practices. i guess by policies and practices i'm referring more towards how the male spouse withholds his income from his beloved, how he keeps it to himself, or how he acts about it. it's not that it's about the money. that's part of the point but not quite. it's about the love or the lack of it connoted by how selfless or un-selfless he is with his own money. it is about the money and yet it's also not about the money. it's about how much he loves himself or how much he loves her . it's about love. it's about love.

i don't know how to start this post, i believe i won't be coherent in what i am trying to say here but i'd like to record it for future's sake. it's just that one night, i realized that issues about money that i had long skirted from before because of my youth could now no longer be skirted from and thus, more and more, i will find myself confronted with these sometimes or oftentimes cold and harsh realities and that they are now going to be an important part of my existence. not important because they are important, they are important because they are a necessary part of life here on earth. my life. my urban life on present-day earth. it crashed on me like a bucket of ice-cold water. well, not crashed. just jolted. reminded. made me realize something serious and practical as opposed to whimsical and romantic. money is a part of our existence. it's a part of life. i know that sounds so elementary and i sound i am sounding like i just graduated from kin...

My first love broke my heart for the first time And I was like Baby baby baby oh Like baby baby no Like baby baby baby oh Thought you'd always be mine. :) Love it!

I’ve devised my own ways of going round about it. Two nights ago, I mentioned this to Chaida. I said to her, “I feel so conscious there because of the late hours I keep.” See, the people in this residence are “anti-late hours” and see, I’m an insomnia sufferer and it was worse even just a year ago and already, the hours I keep now are an improvement to hours I’ve kept before. I know that I am improving at a snail’s pace but improving I am. I know they can’t appreciate it but I am not going to let anyone take away my appreciation, relief and grateful sense of achievement over the small, incremental and gradual steps of progress I make. It’s just that my late hours is made conspicuous because of tell-tale quirks of this blue-walled room I occupy that just quite simply by design shouts out my lights-on and lights-off schedule. It is adjacent to the master’s bedroom with only a might-as-well-be-paper-thin wall serving as a means for separation. Now, my room might have been an ar...