A light when all other lights go out!

To all who made my 2011 a year of healing and renewal, Thank You. You make it possible for me to make 2012 my year. On this note, I would like to single out some people for a more special thanksgiving: Lala & Allison, bellecroft people, my siblings, Kuya Nikki, Father Duran, the author Marshall Gregory, Taylor Swift, and of course, God Himself & Mother Mary. :) Thank you, thank you, thank you.

It's been a while since I've posted a video on my blog. And it's been a while since I've shared something from others. So I'd like to share this. Enjoy. :)

24.12.2011 “Pumunta si Cor dito para matulog,” Allison was saying to Lala. I, of course, was no longer present at the time of this comment because I was peacefully sleeping at a room on the second floor of Lala’s house, after I had excused myself from the dinner table at maybe 9:00 PM. I had explained to Lala that I hadn’t been able to get some sleep the night before, something about friends having been over to bellecroft, and erratic sleeping schedules, as comprising the cause. So she promised me she’d wake me up in two hours with the purpose in mind of me celebrating Christmas properly with the rest of them awake ones; but as it happened, she had decided later on that it was probably best to let me sleep on uninterrupted and so I didn’t awaken until Allison had gone home and the entire household had decided to turn out the lights and tuck themselves into bed as well. I think she just wanted me out of the way. So it was 2:00 AM already when I stirred and found Lala sleeping beside me...

I loved this quote. "It's a moment that I'm after, a fleeting moment, but not a frozen moment." - Andrew Wyeth

YM Chat with Allison Cory: Allison??? Are you there??? Allison: yes...y? Cory: where's lala? Allison: Nasa "planning" session daw sila ngayon sa island cove, cavite. bukas pa balik nila, haha. text mo lang siya. Cory: how sad... Allison: aww...pagagalitan ko si LA bakit hindi ka nya sinama.. haha.. (and because it was his birthday the next day) Cory: may birthday ba na parating na? (laughing emoticon) Allison: not sure.. matagal pa yung susunod eh.. kakabirthday lang ni LA nung oct, tapos ikaw sa.. uhm, feb? or jan? haha Hehehehe. Short chat lang naman where I asked about Lala and joked about Allison's birthday. Which brings me...Lala, what were you "really" doing in island cove, cavite, hmm? Quote and quote planning daw ha....Hehehe!

I was lying on the couch one day when I said to Clyde, "Why is the house so dirty today?" Clyde was in front of a long desk adjacent to the couch, and she was facing her laptop. "It's not just today." "It seems acute today," I said, frowning. "Or maybe it's because my life is dirty. I feel the need to clean up." Hehehehe.

Lala invited me to watch Tintin with her and Allison at Trinoma today, but I turned down her invite, telling her that I was working on, um, changing my life. "I decided to change my life last December 1," I texted her. "But that's our anniversary," she said when she had called me up to talk about the invite. She was referring to her anniversary with Allison. "Yeah," I said. "I know. Next year, I'll be joining your celebration to celebrate the uh, anniversary of the day I decided to change my life." Last December 1 was a Thursday, and I decided to "change my life" that night. It means I'm getting on to the next stage of changing. I still remember the time I began to change, the initial point. The realization, and what that was. But I have had to change internally before I could begin to change externally. I was out of sync with the person that I was inside. So it was my thoughts and my thinking that I had to bring in line fir...

I think I feel the need to qualify my previous post. It feels slightly jarring to read something like that coming from me. And I was the one who frowned upon Taylor Swift's Dear John song. I had opposed her putting it out on her CD, raising up an issue about the ethics of doing that. Of Dear John, I had said, that she shouldn't have put it out because it caricatured Mr. John Mayer in quite an unfavorable manner. Although actually, she has never confirmed that the song was about John Mayer. Nevertheless, public speculation has practically confirmed it to be so; you can even wikipedia John Mayer and on the part with the header Personal Relationships, it is written there that Taylor wrote a song about him. My point was that we should learn to speak well of others. And Taylor's song had given the general public the impression that John was a cradle-snatcher who played "dark, twisted games" on girls who love him so. And here I am, basically doing the same. So here'...

I don't think I will come near her. I saw her lips curl in distaste of me. I heard her words and identified their emotions: contempt, disgust, bitterness, and especially, the will to say the most hurtful things as though driving a wooden stake right through the heart. I saw her become her own dragon. And though I don't think I am traumatized by it, I remember how she held my neck in her hands the time I lost an expensive comb. Now I know why her hands aren't gentle. She just isn't gentle inside her heart. And everybody resists her or those nearest to her anyway and she wonders why. She always expects to be forgiven though, one row forgotten after another. And she will be. Of course. I would never want her to be denied that. But her ignorance is sad; that she doesn't know how to be loving. And kindness of heart and mind - and speech - she can't show to those nearest her. I hope she will have the love of others. Because she treats them nicer. Me, she'll destro...