A light when all other lights go out!

I'll make this short and brief because I don't really have time to write more thoughtful missives. - i wonder if other people ever feel alone, and i wonder what they do to cope. - i guess at one time or another, we have all felt alone, in a special kind of way, an aloneness with a story all its own, unique and peculiar, different in its own way. - i used to scour the internet and the books and what-have-you's, looking for answers, when i couldn't understand my world anymore and what was happening in it. i realize now that i'm never going to truly find out the back story and the explanation that would make sense of it all and that it's because the people in question will not speak their parts. i wish i could have gone back in time to tell myself this when i was so confused. - i wonder if there ever was someone in this world who might be like me, who might be feeling alone, and lacking anyone to turn to, might be driven to search for the answer in google: what do ...

This is a break from the novelistic rambling I had going on about Phil. It just occurred to me that I couldn't possibly have managed to get by in this life without these things. Lala: Pwede ka ba tom? Allison is on leave tom kasi, as advised by Dra. Lala. Cory: He’s sick? Lala: Nope, sick of work pwede. Hehe. Cory: I’m sick of life...For the first time in my life, I actually said, fml. I'd never said that... Lala: fml????? Cory: Maybe that's part of coming back to your senses... Lala: Sick of life??????? Cory: Yeah.... Lala: Yep, you have a point there. It's like you can only prescribe meds to a sick man once you correctly diagnose his illness. Cory: Sigh. It's my fault. Fml. Lala: Fml????? Fault My.....? Or is that a mumbled sigh? A phrase from the Bible suddenly hit me just now. Can’t remember from which part, pero it's something about God being the only one to give you life to the full. Life TO THE FULL! It strikes me as a very exciting concept just now. Woul...

I hated Phil at first sight. He was an applicant in the college organization where I was already a member and he was just bad ass. He had bad ass eyes, bad ass eyebrows, a bad ass pout, a bad ass attitude, a bad ass walk, the whole works! He was bad ass all the way, and he was what people call maangas . I decided I thoroughly disliked him and couldn’t abide his presence. He handed me a signature sheet (also called sigsheet), one of those requirements for gaining entrance into the org (short for organization), during one of those days when applicants had to accost members for the purpose of filling out these sheets. I glanced stoically at his sigsheet which he was asking me to sign in the part that had my name. “Preambulo,” I said curtly, telling him to recite the preamble of the constitution of our organization while I wrote on his sheet. He began reciting the whole thing: “Kaming mga mag-aaral ng Pampublikong Administrasyon ay naninindigang itaguyod ang disiplinang ito bilang isang ...

Whenever the song Stick With You by the Pussycat Dolls comes on, I often dedicate it in my mind to my friend named Phil. He was someone I knew during my college days and the song was popular around that time. It’s the line in the song that goes “I know I got a good thing right here” that recalls his name to memory. I felt that Phil was just like that. He was “a good thing” in a girl’s life (mine), and I had no doubt that he was so in other girls’ life as well and the song was an ode to guys like him. Phil was probably the first guy that I adored in my life. Not the first guy I had a crush on, nor the first guy I watched a movie with on a silly little high school date, but the first guy that I sincerely adored for himself. We didn’t really have a deep friendship but it had its moments. And, when I look back to college, for some reason, Phil stands out as one of the most important things of that time that happened to me. It was like he was a milestone, an institution, the first pillar,...

Alexander McCall Smith has this book that Clyde and I both love. It’s called The Full Cupboard of Life. I was reading it last week and I remember opening to the first chapter of the book and laughing while reading its lines. The chapter was titled A Great Sadness Among The Cars of Botswana. It talked about this garage for fixing cars called Tlokweng Road Speedy Motors and how there were two foolish apprentices there who had girls always on their minds and who had little sense for cars. Apparently, the apprentices had just put diesel fuel in an ordinary engine and the owner of the garage, Mr J. L. B. Matekoni, was berating them for it. The main character, Mma Ramotswe, commiserated with Mr J. L. B. Matekoni in his exasperation in dealing with the flighty apprentices and wondered out loud about what would happen to them once they’d be finished with their apprenticeship and no longer under the kind supervision of someone like Mr J. L. B. Matekoni. And Mr J. L. B. Matekoni, a kind man in h...

If this were twitter, I know what hashtags it would read: #thatmomentwhenyouknowyouredoingsomethingright and #thatmomentwhensomethingyouthoughtyouhadlostforgoodcomesbacktoyouandyoufeelhumbledandhappy. Hahahahaha! That was long. Yay! And for that, I just have to have a song because of such are moments when you want to cry and sing at the same time. I pick Taylor's Fearless. Fearless There's something 'bout the way The street looks when it's just rained. There's a glow off the pavement. You walk me to the car and you know, I wanna ask you to dance right there in the middle of the parking lot. Yeah! We're driving down the road; I wonder if you know I'm trying so hard not to get caught up now. But you're just so cool; run your hands through your hair. Absent-mindedly, you're making me want you. And I don't know how it gets better than this - you take my hand and drag me head first, fearless! And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a st...

This is a nonsense post. Taylor just won two grammys for the song Mean from her album Speak Now and I was prowling through the internet listening to her unreleased singles (I know only a few of them). And I just wanted to share this one. It showcases her songwriting talent and this was before she even became famous. Isn't that amazing? People, revel about taylor with me. Here are the lyrics to the song: I Heart Question Mark Wish I had concentrated They said love was complicated But it's something I just fell into Well, it was overrated But just look what I created I came out alive but I'm black and blue! Before you ask me if I'm alright Think about what I had to do: Wake up and smell the break-up Fix my heart, put on my make-up! Another mess I didn't plan And I bet you thought you beat me Wish you could only see I got an I heart ? written on the back of my hand! I'd be fine if you just walked by But you had to talk about why you were wrong And I was right But I...

Ok, so that was a short-lived hiatus. I know I said two months but it seems I could barely make it two weeks. It felt really long. I decided to end my hiatus. It's because now is quite a sensitive and difficult time for me and I've noticed that I've been touchy for most of the time for the past few weeks. And what a lot of angst I've had. I needed an outlet. That's why I'm back to blogging. Some entries might get dark or full of misery but then, there will always be the happy and cheerful ones. So, hi blog! And goodnight.