A light when all other lights go out!

about Don again. i texted him one night. it was late and i was in starbucks trying to wind down from the flurry of high-pressure activities i have at work. i was simultaneously wondering how i was going to work out my schedule while wishing there was someone to talk to. so i texted him. the dialogue is nothing special but because the guy is, it's special enough to write down here. cory: hi, good evening. i'm just texting because i wanted to distract myself. you don't have to reply if you're busy. yesterday, i learned that when i'm stressed out, i tend to look for conversation. you're a candidate, haha. :) don: i'm not busy but i'm in bed almost ready to go to sleep. i'll reply until i fall asleep so shoot... :) cory: may kwento ka? did you do interesting things today? have something big happening tomorrow? :) don: interesting? uh, not really, was in the office thinking about filing a case for tro/injunction against the bureau. don: tomo...

you know that moment when you try to solve something you've been grappling with for 7 hours on a weekend and your boss solves it in 30 sec of her first few minutes in the office? i know, i know, there's a gulf of a difference between me and my boss in terms of knowledge, experience, acquired know-how, level of decision-making, but...yeah. hahahaha! i am in awe.

there was that time when i asked, how art thou? you said, i'm fine milady. you know, to be honest, i wish i don't, but i miss you.

i just wanted to talk. is it okay if it's just rambling, not written well? i've been having difficulty, emotionally, in carrying out my work. the intellectual part of it is not what i find difficult. it's the part where i'm working on it in an environment that is not filled with people other than myself - meaning to say, that i am doing overtime work on saturdays and sundays and there aren't a lot of people around so i somehow feel so lonesome. it would actually help if i were to do my work in a coffee shop but i don't have the means for that right now. i don't have a laptop and a car for transporting with me office documents that i need, which can be voluminous. so it looks like there is nothing to do for it but to endure. and i will have to remind myself, cor, it's worth it to endure. it's worth it.

i look at my schedule then think about my project and i feel a sense of an impending disaster. :(