A light when all other lights go out!

two nights ago, i had a dream about you. in my dream, you had a girlfriend. i think i was talking with her and i don't remember her face but i remember her hair. it was blonde. she was sporting the same hairdo as that of miley cyrus' right now. funny, i never thought you were into blondes. i was telling someone about it, and described you vaguely as someone i care about. i said the dream was a little funny. it amused me that my subconscious put the miley cyrus blonde pixie hair onto your "girlfriend". my friend was less amused. she was afraid i was going to burst into tears. * * * * * Pangarap Lang Kita mabuti pa sa lotto, may pag-asang manalo. 'di tulad sa 'yo - imposible! prinsesa ka, ako'y dukha. sa tv lang naman kasi may mangyayari. at kahit mahal kita, wala akong magagawa. tanggap ko o aking sinta - pangarap lang kita.

i was taking the ascending escalator to the food court on my way to get myself a fruit shake when a lithe older man took it as well, going down. he went only slightly faster than the machine and as he passed me by, i couldn't help thinking, "i wish i had done that, too!" haha!

i honestly feel sometimes that there are really these sorts of people who can really drive you to rage, you know?

one of the most interesting things i came across this week was the story behind the song Into The Open Air by Julie Fowlis. it was featured in the movie Brave. it's this beautiful, solemn, and bittersweet melody that revolves around a longing and a wish to "step into the open air". i wanted to find out about the song because i always have this persistent interest about the backstories of things, and i wanted to know about what the writer/s were thinking when they wrote it. how did they get it so right? what was behind the creative genius of the song? i was curious about the song also because it was the song i was turning to at the moment. last monday saw me walking one of the underground walkways in the city and into the night, head down, dejected, miserable and sad. and i was connecting with the song because of its idea of walls and the question of whether they could come down, and the longing, the longing to feel your feet on the ground, leave behind your prison, ...

today i cried for my spelling skills. i was looking for a word, the right word, and i wanted to know if it was this - assymetric. but the online dictionary suggested that such a word did not exist, so i tried again - asymetric? again, the online dictionary shook its head no. by this time, i was scandalized. what was the correct spelling? the answer was: asymmetric . oh my gad! this was appalling. i knew that the "a" in the word meant "not", and the rest of the word referred to the word's more basic progenitor, symmetry , but my spelling error meant that i would have spelled symmetry as symetry and thought myself correct! que barbaro! whatever happened to my spelling skills?

i give up on you

cory: hindi mo man lang batid ang presensya ko sa messenger mo... lala: yun ay pagkat kakagaling ko lang sa pagtatago sa isang hidden room dito sa opis hihihihihi.

learned a new word today: batid. it's a tagalog word that means known or aware of or conscious of. got it from this line: ako'y alipin mo kahit hindi batid/ aaminin ko minsan ako'y manhid. let me try to use the word in a sentence: hindi mo batid ang nararamdaman ko . hihihihi. how did i do? #proud :D haha!

so, anyway, as you well already know, i have started pinterest and i am SO excited to be pinning! but(!), of course, first things first, i have to begin by creating some pinterest boards! so here are some of my ideas for the titles and themes. one board will be titled, "if you're ever thinking of buying me a gift" , and as you might well guess from the title, the pins on that board will revolve around that theme. i recommend you follow that one, especially if you're thinking of buying me a gift. the second board will be called "clothes i want you to want me to have" and it will feature many pretty stuff, from really trendy pink clothes to dresses and gowns that taylor swift and selena gomez wore. it will also feature other designer items, besides. the third board is "places you should take me to" . this board is intended for a future boyfriend or really loving family and friends. it will feature a full-on collection of wonderful and amazing ...

i don't know if it's a good idea to put this here but there must have been a reason why it had occurred to me several times that i needed to write this. this was written on my notebook last sunday. i'm not changing how it is written. Memo: Some Advice On Reading My Blog i can't write anything and yet there is something which i need to write. i am currently in the middle of trying to turn things around for myself, whatever that means, and i think it's going to take a lot of effort. the thing is, it's going to be really hard, and the way is going to be strewn with many kinds of difficulties. i feel the need to prepare you for that, because i think i'm going to be needing this blog. i might be sharing with you some good news and bad news and stuff. the thing is, i'm going to free myself from having to worry about how anything i say might be affecting your sensibilities or influencing what you think of me, or anything like that. i'm just go...

finally! i'm starting my pinning career!!! hahahaha! :D

ay, i'm so sorry. i feel so guilty. nagtaray ako. sorry! kc he dared to innocently suggest that this some kinda thing that was not right was right and i laid it into him. hala...i need anger management na ata...

(writing credits shared with lala) A. Tears cory: you watched the mistress na noh? 10 bucks says you cried. lala: yep, but just cause allison dragged me. here's your 10 bucks -- reach for iiiiiiit! hehehe cory: where did you cry? lala: anita lindas there, the old woman in films, and she was senile cory: in the breakup scenes you were so happy lala: in the breakup scenes i was like more popcorn! hehe cory: sabay tear... lala: i gave you 10 bucks na nga e cory: more popcorn (tears rolling down) lala: ya, i tore the popcorn bucket looking for more popcorn cory: and then cried some more (laughing emoticon) lala: whatevs B. Ngunit cory: no really, what did you think? lala: for once i'd like to watch a pinoy film with REAL conversations cory: what? lala: taglish and casual and crude cory: really??? lala: everyday tagalog lingo. kasi diba??? scripts use words like ngunit, etc. nobody uses NGUNIT!!! hehe cory: they had "ngunit"? cor...

two things, awkward and unrelated: 1. i bet it's beautiful the way you drive your car 2. i hope it's beautiful where you are

1. cory: (coughing like she has tb) i'm healthy!!! weh... 2. cory: (coughing) chaida: eew... so mean...bad man mo oi! hehe. no more cough! all my thanks to dynatussin! :)

i was trying to write several things today but nothing would come out right. i was unsatisfied with what i wrote. not really with the subject, but with the words i was writing to the subject. they wouldn't take off the page. i wonder why. perhaps i feel down? was it because this morning saw me riding a jeep and tears were welling up in my eyes and i tried to hold them back but one drop fell off and tumbled down...? it was classic filipino, right? or was it classic more of life, really, in general? riding a jeep and crying. one tear lang naman. huwag kasing mag-isip habang naka-sakay sa jeep. ma-weweirduhan lang ang iba or siguro ma-amuse. sige. kailangan ko na umuwi.

i hate you.

i know it's kind of late and the song made the rounds months ago but i've only come into it in full living color just a few days before. i immediately appreciated its rhetoric, especially the chorus. here it is below with annotation. i'm at a payphone, trying to call home all of my change i spent on you (i love how the words immediately conjure a recognizable and imaginably accessible situation with the stroke of just a few words. when i hear them, i see a guy in rugged denim jeans and jacket trying at a payphone by some lonely street or highway while city night lights flash in the background. his emotions and body language need no further explanation. notice as well how they say "all of my change i spent on you" which works rather than "all of my change is spent on you" which doesn't.) where have the times gone? baby, it's all wrong. where are the plans we made for two? (i've always loved how words communicate meaning and feelin...

i kind of miss not being sick.

(or at least get an expectorant) lala: so how is thee? cory: still sick (waaaaa!!) lala: how come??? you better have that checked na!!! haven't you soaked the paders yet with cleaning liquid??? cory: haven't done any cleaning...i'm sick eh...this is TB lala: have it checked na or i'll shove a flashlight down your throat if i have to do it myself! (evil laugh) and this, my friends, is why i subsequently bought myself a blister pack of expectorants. mahirap na if we fall into the hands of more sadistically-inclined friends...hehehe...

i love the old-world feel of the pan de manila shop just across the place where i work. i love their bread and their spreads as well but like a child, i can't make up my mind right now what food i would really like to eat... :)

i love her, too! :)

this is called "campaigning"...

oh lord, this is torture. my cough is killing me. it's hard and i'm drinking so much water i am practically waterboarding myself. self-inflicted torture. i am in pain. please let's clean the house....

won another long receipt! yay! one venti drink coming up soon! :)

author: Joachim Fest subject: a chronicle of a German family who lived before, during and after the reign of the Third Reich and who had silently and obstinately opposed it promising premise: the father had called the children to his study and asked them to take down and remember this maxim: etiam si omnes - ego non! (even if everyone - not me!) attraction of the book: war chronicles, the interesting predicament of being a German and opposing your own government's Nazi rule (scary!!), and er - did i mention war? hehe, i should grab The Diary of Anne Frank one of these days

whenever i talk to you, i remember why i thoroughly hate this job.

i must say, this job is kind of pretty cool...

so now i know what pader is... cory: lalie? busy? you did not get to watch The Dictator did you? (sends the loser emoticon) by the way, what's pader? my guess: walls, cabinet??? lala: my gus disgraceful! pader = wall, paders = fathers. no, but i plan to watch it in the future, kaya let's watch The Campaign na rin! cory: well, i just said pader! lala: when and for what occasion? (sticking tongue out) cory: pader like madumi ang mga pader! lala: that's right naman, congrats! cory: well, actually, i'm on the brink of getting sick for the third time and now i've realized why!!! the house is not clean! lala: because madumi ang pader? take meds kasi! cory: yes! lala: and then administer meds din to the walls haha (huh?) cory: i do! apples, bananas, centrum, vitamin c from 500 mg - 2000 mg...but they all fail!!! lala: aaaa kaya pala -- all the nutrients are vying for prominence (laughing emoticon). confused nutrients cancelling each other out! cor...

i have finally caught on. i have had colds twice in three months, for over two weeks each. and now i am caught at the beginning of yet another one! what is up?! so i said to mai, one of my housemates, "mai, ma-alikabok ba ang bahay natin?" she asked me if i sneeze around the house. "oo," i said. "oo, madumi ang bahay natin," she confirmed. "what?! why?! naglilinis naman tayo ah!" lotis cleans the house on the weekends - sweeping and scrubbing the floors, cleaning the kitchen - and the house is not really cluttered. i also clean. i sweep the bedroom floor (the one i share with my roomie) and clean the bathroom as well (the one i share with chaida). at other times, i've cleaned the sala as well. "hindi siya madumi na madumi pero hindi rin siya malinis," maimai said. oh, so that's why. and here i was wondering why i was suddenly so sickly and why all the apples, bananas and vitamin c in the world were not fortifying me...