Pay It Forward

He doesn’t know it, but he’s already made me cry thrice this year. I was astonished that a complete stranger would extend such a disinterested hand of kindness towards someone he didn’t know.

It started one summer night (Philippine season). Most nights I was lonely, and I was battling out an inner turmoil. And I liked to scour the internet, looking for some free reading, for reading was a comfort. Not only did reading bring about an understanding of others and one’s self, but as Harold Bloom put it, reading was otherness, and this brings tremendous comfort to a person in solitude.

The first ray of sunshine that he gratuitously gave me was this post of his titled Age 24. I really meant it when I somehow managed to convey (or I hope I did) that he brightened up my night.

The second surprise came when I dumped my grumpy loneliness into my blog sometime June or July of this year. I was not actually expecting anyone to be reading what I wrote but when I opened my blog days later, I found a comment that made me leave the living room to seek the privacy of my own living quarters that I might have for myself a moment with my tearful albeit smiling gratefulness. It was a happy thing to know that I could actually find myself a friend in the internet, of all places. And I think that that was when I realized something for myself. I realized that no matter how unpleasant things in my life may get, at the very least, I’ll always have a friend or find one. Even if only in the internet. And to be honest, this gives me enormous confidence every day. I guess one can never really know how important the simplest action he performs can be, and what it can impart to another. That incident, for sure, gave me sure hope.

The third occurred tonight. This time, just a simple emoticon did it. Thank you.

I wondered how I might be able to show my gratitude, and I wondered if I could start something like a ‘pay it forward’ thing. Like offering a tuna sandwich from Kenny Rogers (‘cause it’s my favorite) to a tired cab driver, that he may, when he gets home, smile at his wife, who might in turn, inspired by her husband's smile, produce a good dinner for them and their teenage son, who, carried by the good mood, might lend a helping hand to an old lady the next day...and so on and so forth. It would create something like a ripple effect that would one day, in a way no one would expect, reach the subject of this post here and do him good. Because what he did did me good.

I like the thought.

Anyway, I guess I’m saying this because life has never seemed to be so much in a state of flux as it is now, and I might never come this way again. Although actually, really, mostly, I'm saying this because I'm just simply grateful. At times, I held on to even just an emoticon offered by an apparent stranger.

So to the subject of this post, you know who you are. Thank you.

I’m ready to begin paying it forward. :)


References:

Bloom, H., 2000. How To Read And Why. New York: Touchstone.

Pay It Forward, 2000. [Film] Directed by Mimi Leder. USA: Warner Bros.

Footnotes:

1. This post was written sometime 18-21 of October 2010, originally on my laptop's MS Word. Didn't have a chance to post it sooner.

2. 'Pay it forward' is a concept that obviously predates the time of the release of the movie with that title, but I just choose to reference it here because it was a concept popularized by that film and wala lang, fun lang mag-reference...ahehe. ^_^

3. My references are incomplete. However, I do not have at hand the bibliographic information of the journal article I would like to cite so I'll be updating this a few days from now. That's all. Thank you! :)

Comments

  1. May laging nagbabasa ng mga entries mo. :)

    Katulad ng pasasalamat mo sa pagsusulat ko, salamt din sa pagsusulat mo.

    At masarap malaman na may napapasaya ako miski di ko nakikita.

    Continue writing. I love reading your blog.

    ReplyDelete

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