The Story Begins With Phil

Whenever the song Stick With You by the Pussycat Dolls comes on, I often dedicate it in my mind to my friend named Phil. He was someone I knew during my college days and the song was popular around that time. It’s the line in the song that goes “I know I got a good thing right here” that recalls his name to memory. I felt that Phil was just like that. He was “a good thing” in a girl’s life (mine), and I had no doubt that he was so in other girls’ life as well and the song was an ode to guys like him.

Phil was probably the first guy that I adored in my life. Not the first guy I had a crush on, nor the first guy I watched a movie with on a silly little high school date, but the first guy that I sincerely adored for himself. We didn’t really have a deep friendship but it had its moments. And, when I look back to college, for some reason, Phil stands out as one of the most important things of that time that happened to me.

It was like he was a milestone, an institution, the first pillar, or the laying of foundations. I think that it was my friendship with Phil that taught me the first things about talking to a guy and hanging out with him. What would life have been like if Phil hadn’t happened? Moreover, I also suspect that the answers as to what kind of guys I would later come to find out I liked have their beginnings in my friendship with Phil.

I remember in the movie My Best Friend’s Wedding, Julia Roberts and Dermot Mulroney were best friends and Dermot was getting married. After the wedding ceremony, just before the wedding car was to take off, Dermot weaves through the crowd to get to Julia and give her one final hug. It was like the last hug before things were never to be the same again.

Phil would probably be my Julia. If I were to change, and the girl he knew were never to be the same for him again, I’d probably come weaving through the crowd to get to him and give him a final hug to thank him for everything he had been to the girl I was.

And everything is changing at such a fast pace these days.

In my mind, if I were to encounter Phil again in the future, I imagine it would be taking place at some public function or party where we just happened to be there. As is the case with old friends, if I spot Phil, I’d seek him out, show him the girl I’d become, do a little twirl, and laugh with him about nothing even if for just a short little while. We were two friends who shared a secret called friendship once upon a time. I wonder if he feels the same.

I haven’t talked to Phil in a long time now and I hope he’s in a good place. In the meantime, I’ll write these words as though trying to write in stone these things that so easily pass away. I hope that if Phil should read this, he’d remember this part of himself, this time of our lives, and how I had adored him so. Mostly, I also pray that what I write is true.

This is a story about me and this is a story about Phil. And the story begins here.

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