use somebody

I'll make this short and brief because I don't really have time to write more thoughtful missives.

- i wonder if other people ever feel alone, and i wonder what they do to cope.

- i guess at one time or another, we have all felt alone, in a special kind of way, an aloneness with a story all its own, unique and peculiar, different in its own way.

- i used to scour the internet and the books and what-have-you's, looking for answers, when i couldn't understand my world anymore and what was happening in it. i realize now that i'm never going to truly find out the back story and the explanation that would make sense of it all and that it's because the people in question will not speak their parts. i wish i could have gone back in time to tell myself this when i was so confused.

- i wonder if there ever was someone in this world who might be like me, who might be feeling alone, and lacking anyone to turn to, might be driven to search for the answer in google: what do you do when you feel alone? Lol.

- what would happen if that person would come along this writing? would she feel comforted? yeah, i feel alone, too.

just tonight, i was bawling my eyes out.

- i still struggle with being 26 and being on your own, with no one and nothing to turn to.

- i'm finding it hard. perhaps it was because i used to think there'd be people right behind me; but now i know there aren't and that's a little hard for me to take.

- at times, i feel so scared, so frightened, so afraid. i notice those words are just synonyms of each other.

- i'm scared of turning out other than how i hope for.

- i wrote a lyric on my arm because that's how i'm feeling right now: you know that i could use somebody (kings of leon). i guess somehow wearing my vulnerability on my sleeve kind of makes me feel better. it's going to be a little awkward if someone finds these embarrassingly vulnerable words on my arm and figures out my state of mind, but...hehehe...they're written with a pen, so they'll come right off. the feeling will pass anyway. tomorrow it'll be another lyric, hehe.

- it just means that i wish i had guidance that's all. i have this neediness - but i'm trying not to pander to it - with varying degrees of success.

- so songs and reading, they comfort me. i feel as though someone is comforting me.

"you know that i could use somebody." - even just words that identify a feeling, medyo nakakatulong din.

- watching taylor swift videos! - it totally rocks! :) why does taylor have such a perfect life?

- it's so painful when you lose someone noh? and dealing with how they're not there...my heart goes out to us all. hug. i'm sorry. i've felt that too.

we could use somebody.

hehe.

rambling done. i don't know why i bothered. wala lang.

Comments

  1. Ramdam kita, Cor. Hindi ko alam kung makakatulong, pero sa feeling ng loneliness, hindi ka nag-iisa.

    Bukas, ibang lyric na nga yan, pero bago mabura, picturan mo muna, tapos iemail mo sa akin, para years from now, pagtatawanan natin yan. Hehehe peace!

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  2. Hi kuya! Thank you so much for commenting, I hope you're well. I always pray for you, short lang naman, just hoping for a smile on your face.

    I don't know if it's really loneliness per se, because loneliness kind of connotes a social thing, a lack of companionship. I think it's more of how the world can seem so large and frightening and you're alone to confront it, even when there are friends. Unless it was that which you meant. ;)

    But anyway, the lyric was erased by the next day eh, sayang, iba nalang. :) it's a good suggestion. or i might just post some here. ingat!

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