cavewomen talk

(ed. note: parts of the conversation were in Visayan but i don't know how to translate it to Tagalog so English nalang. and warning: it gets savage in the end. ^_^)


i was walking home with pitchie along street sidewalks that lead to our apartment when she suggested that we cook spaghetti when we arrive home.

"te cor, let's cook spaghetti when we get home," pitchie said.

i reminded pitchie that lotis, her older sister, would have brought home or prepared food for her. "why? lotis will have food for you," i said.

"but she didn't let me know in advance. she usually does. so she probably does not have food for me tonight," she explained.

"sure she does," i said.

"no, she doesn't," pitchie replied.

"she does."

"she doesn't, so let's cook spaghetti."

"let's cook spaghetti this weekend nalang," i suggested.

"no," she remonstrated, "no food tonight so tonight nalang."

and then this is where the caveman language starts. "you chop, i cook," she said reasonably.

"you chop, you cook, i eat," i said, proposing a disagreeable situation in an agreeable manner.

"no. YOU chop, I cook," she emphasized, following a manner of fairness.

i tried other arrangements. "I give directions, YOU chop, YOU cook."

exasperated, pitchie decided to tell me to do all the cooking myself: "YOU chop, YOU cook!"

"I chop, I cook, I no give," i decided.

"I steal," pitchie replied.

and then we passed by the gate of the house that has a dog that regularly barks madly at us whenever we pass by. true to form, we drew near and, at the first scent of his two nemeses, the dog launched himself clawing at the small and narrow gate, barking and howling angrily at me and pitchie.

we scuttled past hurriedly, scared for our behinds. pitchie was muttering something about the dog.

i explained to her the dog's actions: "it can smell you kasi. it takes one to know one."

"che!" she replied.

i thought about the dog's savage barking. "i-teargas nalang natin 'yun."

"hoy, bastos 'yan!" pitchie exclaimed, "may aso kami so nakaka-awa 'yan."

i laughed. "ikaw talaga kc pitch," i said, jokingly hoisting onto her the responsibility for having thought up the less than humane idea. "kung anu-ano nalang na-iisip mo..."

"che," she said again.


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