memo

i don't know if it's a good idea to put this here but there must have been a reason why it had occurred to me several times that i needed to write this.

this was written on my notebook last sunday. i'm not changing how it is written.

Memo: Some Advice On Reading My Blog

i can't write anything and yet there is something which i need to write.

i am currently in the middle of trying to turn things around for myself, whatever that means, and i think it's going to take a lot of effort.

the thing is, it's going to be really hard, and the way is going to be strewn with many kinds of difficulties.

i feel the need to prepare you for that, because i think i'm going to be needing this blog.

i might be sharing with you some good news and bad news and stuff. the thing is, i'm going to free myself from having to worry about how anything i say might be affecting your sensibilities or influencing what you think of me, or anything like that. i'm just going to let myself go, and just write without worrying over whether the content is balanced, spreads negative vibes, way too pathetic, too simple, whatever.

it's going to be hard-going, and i see rough waters before me, and i know most of the time, i'm going to have to be going at it by my lonesome, so i need an outlet.

which means that i am, in this manner, declaring this space my own personal emotional dumpsite, diary, news bulletin, archive, etc.

i reserve the right to do this not because of the right to freedom of speech (which is not necessarily license to say anything you want to say) but because i am human, and being human, have need to express (or vent) myself, my thoughts, feelings, and ideas, or else face the possibility of imploding if all these were to be corked up.

moreover, my back-up claim for doing this is that i have never advertised this blog to be read by others and have only ever let others in on it sometimes by accident (as when i leave the page open on somebody else's laptop) or when i am speaking of a matter to someone and i show them a post from the blog which better explained my thoughts/ideas, or some other functional or evaluative measure like that (once, i showed the blog to a friend because i wanted to ask her opinion on whether my blog was bordering on personal indiscretion already).

that said, i feel like i have at least taken some step to forewarn you regarding the personal emotional context surrounding posts you might find yourself reading. just at least keep, in the back of your mind, the awareness that i released a memo, that is admittedly weird, coming-from-nowhere, scant, vague, inadequate, etc., to give any unsuspecting reader some sort of clue as to context that could explain the background to some highly-charged posts appearing on this blog. a precautionary measure, just in case.

i hope this helps and i apologize for the lack of clarity.

yours,

admin

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