i rest, therefore, i am

June 18-19, 2011

I wanted to record this because I loved it.

I had a great time this weekend. I'm saying "this weekend" because though today is already Monday, to the night-shifter that is me, this is still my Sunday night. Monday officially begins tonight.

My definition of a great time isn't yours and I don't expect it to be. But times like this make me happy and prepare me for more activity and greater happiness. I am loving it! Already, I'm feeling more positive and more ready to take on the world and all the things I need to do.

I had a VERY relaxing weekend. However, even Clyde disagrees with my definition of a "relaxing" weekend. I told her that I go by Chaida's definition, not hers. "Ngye!" she said. "But Chaida's definition of relaxation is watching movies all day!" Exactly. See, watching movies provides something like an out-of-body experience sometimes - you are lifted out from the cares of your reality for a while. That's what makes it so relaxing. (Although I didn't actually watch a movie this weekend. What I meant to say was that I agree with the principle...sometimes...hehe). Clyde's definition of relaxation is a "change of activity from work or study." Therefore, it includes such activities as "outreach, exercise, watching a movie (but only one), reading a book, etc., etc., but definitely, no idleness." (Boo. Joke lang, hihi.)

I say, my definition of relaxation is a cross between that of Chaida's and Clyde's. It's watching a movie, yes, it's exercise, outreach (uh-huh), and whatnot, BUT(!), you throw in a whole lot of doing NOTHING into the mix. Hehe. Like 90%. I'm a firm believer in BED REST. (Hey, I was suffering from colds and a severe headache last week. This explains why I badly needed to rest this weekend. I'm excused.)

I realize that my rambling should be coming in in bullet form. I'm afraid that I get points off for cohesion because my paragraphs do not transition smoothly from one topic to another. But anyway, back to the weekend I want to tell you about.

You know, every after work, Saturday morning, though I know I ought to be sleeping, I have this stubborn insistence on staying up for as long as I can because it's my only "Friday night". But this is a bad call, I realize. I should go to sleep. And then wake up Saturday night so that I have a prayer of a chance of meeting up with people who might be out and about Saturday night. Well, next time.

I had a very magical weekend. Did I ever tell you that Bellecroft is the BEST HOUSE EVER? It is utterly lovely when it rains here. I think magic ought to happen in bellecroft when it rains. If there ever were to be a cue for Peter Pan and Tinkerbell to appear in this house, it ought to be at this time, when it rains.

The rain had started to pour in the middle of the afternoon and Clyde was in the sala, working on her thesis. I descended the stairs and said to her, "Isn't this nice, Clyde?" She agreed wholeheartedly. Finally, Clyde and I agree on something.

And I want to tell you the rest of what I did during the weekend because I'm so happy. So I slept, and I woke up at midnight. The room was dark, and I went out, and I wanted to see where the others were or if they were already sleeping. I went to Clyde's room, and pushed open the door. A sliver of light fell on Cherry and Clyde's sleeping bodies. I tiptoed downstairs, saw there was no one there, and went back to my room. And I lay there on the bed for hours, curled up with a blanket over my body, thinking thoughts, and listening to the pitter-patter of the rain as it poured in torrents outside. It was marvelous. You know how it is when people speak of the pleasures of life? Well, THAT NIGHT was one of the pleasures of my life. Hehe.

And it gets better and better. I fell asleep again after five in the morning, and it was Sunday. I woke up, went to mass, got back to bellecroft, but at one point, I nearly cried because I realized I have not seen my friends for what seems like the longest time. I woefully wondered when my life will begin. But that was okay, because I was already recovering from the sickness that had given me a difficult time the past week, and anyway, I can order food, and I'll be having dinner with Cherry and Clyde, and after I stuff myself, I'll feel quite satisfied again and I can plan my life again.

But time trickled away as I happily whiled it away, and before I knew it, I was somehow sleeping again, and I woke up again...and it was still raining...and Clyde started bugging me again to...never mind, I'll get to it...hehehe...and now I'm happy because the food I ate over the weekend was good, and I had a lot of rest, and I'm no longer sick...

So basically, to cut the long story short, I ate, I slept, I thought, I talked...and it made me happy.

I'm happy when I realize I'm happy.

I'm happy when I find it nice to be alive.
I'm happy when I realize I'm finding it nice to awaken.
I'm happy when I realize I like the smell of the rain flooding the house, the cold of the wooden stairstep underneath my bare feet, the juice I'm gonna find on the refrigerator, the weird phone that doesn't work when it rains, etc., etc...

How nice.

And I am satisfied.

For now.

Thank you so much to everyone who made this possible. Love you. Mwah.


  1. Gets na gets ko ito. Masaya lang yung minsan wala kang ginagawa at all. Wala ring kailangang isipin. Wala. Relax lang. Masaya akong nasiyahan ka ngayong weekend. Ü


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