hard cash

i don't know how to start this post, i believe i won't be coherent in what i am trying to say here but i'd like to record it for future's sake.

it's just that one night, i realized that issues about money that i had long skirted from before because of my youth could now no longer be skirted from and thus, more and more, i will find myself confronted with these sometimes or oftentimes cold and harsh realities and that they are now going to be an important part of my existence. not important because they are important, they are important because they are a necessary part of life here on earth. my life. my urban life on present-day earth.

it crashed on me like a bucket of ice-cold water. well, not crashed. just jolted. reminded. made me realize something serious and practical as opposed to whimsical and romantic.

money is a part of our existence. it's a part of life. i know that sounds so elementary and i sound i am sounding like i just graduated from kindergarten but i can't help it. i wasn't a very practical, mature, reality-attuned teenager. which must be why the tone of this post is coming off confused and discombobulated. it's like trying to feel the weight of a stone as though you feel it in your hands for the first time, and you're coming to terms with its roughness, its heaviness, what is spells out, what ought you to do with regard to it.

anyway, i realize that money is going to be an important part of a couple's life. one aspect that you, as a couple, will be talking about, one of those areas of concern that will affect your conjugal life is MONEY.

that's it. that's all i want to say for now.

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